Poems

Big Brothers Must Grow Up

Reflections and a past poem on blaming others

Photo by juan pablo rodriguez on Unsplash

My parents enjoy recounting the memory of a few-years-old me writing my name on the walls on the house, only to then blame it on my little sister. Aside from it being my name written on the wall, the fact my sister wasn’t even old enough to write should’ve been enough to warn me that telling such a bare-faced lie was a bad idea. Yet, I told the lie anyway, for the hope that the “big brother” me wouldn’t have to take responsibility for his actions.

That’s far from the only example of the blame-games that one might expect with a brother-sister dynamic growing up. But, children do eventually grow up. Being the eldest child of my generation within the family, now at 24 years of age, I would hope that I’ve developed a better sense of maturity by this point.

Sadly, it does not seem that our politicians have developed this same sense of maturity.

The past few years have seen unparalleled instances of the British government failing to take responsibility for their mis-steps. Rises in mental health referrals and suicides? Blame Covid, not our fear-mongering and behavioural psychology-backed propaganda. Lockdowns didn’t work to stop the spread? Blame the new variant, not the inadequacy of the policy. Our vaccine rollout that hasn’t stopped the spread of the virus? Blame the unvaccinated, not the technology itself that we funded and told you to put your faith in. Vaccine damages? Blame the public for choosing to take the experimental drug that we coerced you into having through mandate threats. The cost of everything is rapidly rising? Blame Putin, not our spending spree we’ve been on to try and rectify our other mistakes. Crime running rampant in our communities? Blame the small boat crossings, not the destruction of community-oriented policing or the fact that we have no adequate system for integrating new arrivals in to society (and let alone looking after everyone we already have who is struggling!)

Where the child version of me could’ve only dreamed of such excuses working in my favour, the government is doing hat-tricks. So how does it keep getting away with it?

The answer is simple: We allow government to get away with it by not taking responsibility for our own lives.

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It warms my heart to see a growing interest in pushes towards supporting local initiatives, homeschooling and taking charge of the education of future generations. I believe this is a vital step should we take power back from governments and their ill-intentioned wills.

I think it can also go much further than this.

Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedAll the children in the playground
love to play the hateful blame game.
Bicker, squabble, say it’s not them,
ignoring their discomfort’s stem.

All the young’uns by the playground
love to play the hateful blame game.
Everyone knows youth are brutal
and won’t lose without a battle.

All the adults off the playground
love to play the hateful blame game.
Pretending that they know-it-all,
it’s not their fault they dropped the ball.

And where does all that lead us to,
the it’s-not-fairs and it’s-not-rights?
Angered, annoyed, frustrated so,
we let our self-worth fall so low.

In the pits of our despairing,
that’s where the game really begins.
All of the mind’s cheeky monkeys
keep things going despite our pleas.

And what’s the most messed-up of all
is that it’s on you to change it.
For while you didn’t cause this strife,
you are the keeper of your life.

You have the power to end this game,
even when others keep playing.
You know best of its destruction;
winners rise in reconstruction.

All the children in the playground
hate to play the loving blame game.
So be the one to turn it ‘round
and let it rest where it was found.

The Blame Game ~ Taken from Go Forth, Butterfly!

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You might not like to hear that it’s up to you to fix the wrongs of other people. And yet, it cannot be any other way. It is the collective sum of our neglect in our personal lives to the matters that we can attend to that encourages a machine as cumbersome as government to keep guzzling its way through the people who buy into it.

When was the last time you or your local community did any of the following without government or institutional intervention:

Held a trial with a jury of peers after someone in your community caused harm to another person, in order to work out an adequate solution that helps the person come to harm recover and the perpetrator of the harm be encouraged to support that.
Put small parts of your extra money into an independent food, health or education initiative where 100% of the money went to the local community
Held mediation to resolve a conflict with a husband or wife where the relationship was irreparable
Divided up the assets of a loved one who has passed away, according to their will.

I suspect it will be very few who can say “yes” to all of these - and I am certainly guilty of not accomplishing all of these in a consistent manner so far in my life. For those already doing all of these things and more, I would love to hear from you in the comments about how you made this possible.

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Even putting the institutions aside, this outsourcing of our individual agency can happen just as much in our personal lives too. How many times have you begrudgingly agreed to going to a particular event or placating certain people you don’t like, just to please another friend? Or, have you undersold yourself or a good or service you provide, just for the fear of the people who will scorn you for charging “too much”? How often have you decided not to complain about poor quality of service that you got from a restaurant or business because you “didn’t want to cause a fuss?”

All these are no different to how many of us (myself included) have treated the so-called institutions of authority.

Things feel like they are at a crisis point because we have outsourced all our agency to people and structures who do not know enough about us to make the appropriate decisions. Ultimately, we are in charge of our own lives. We are our own “big brothers”. We have to set the example for others - and the society around us - to follow. Does it suck that we have to take responsibility for others’ failings? Even the likes of Starmer, Johnson, Biden, Trump, Tedros, Gates and so forth? Absolutely! That doesn’t mean we ignore the role those people have to play in helping to find a solution to stop this happening again. It simply means we have to show up, state how our boundaries have been violated, and create the environment around us that prevents those boundaries from being violated in the future.

Go support that local farmers market. Sign up with a holistic health initiative of truly powerful healers like the New Biology Clinic (or even better - learn how to heal yourself!). Read and support journalistic media from independents with a proven track record. Learn how to communicate and negotiate directly with others to have your needs met. You do not need a childish authoritarian apparatus to do these things for you.

It’s time for Big Brother to grow up. That only happens if we grow up too.

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Thank you for taking the time to read this piece, I look forward to sharing more with you soon.

With gratitude,

Tom