> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.tom-shaw.uk/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # A Dance of Love and Death - URL: https://www.tom-shaw.uk/on-death-love-and-dancing/ - Published: 2024-04-21T13:01:41.000Z - Updated: 2024-04-21T13:01:41.000Z - Description: Weekly Newsletter - 21st April 2024 - Author: Tom Shaw - Tags: Reflections, #substack, #substack-type-newsletter, #substack-access-everyone, #Import 2026-10-24 12:50 ![](https://cdn.mymidnight.blog/a14ac55a4f27472c5d894ec1c3c743d2/substack-post-media-s3-amazonaws-com/public/images/6e6f8cf6-233d-4a2c-893d-3fb57d34f9ac_1280x512.jpg) The idea of coming face-to-face with death has been a theme that has refused to leave me alone this week. Late last week, I came to learn that one of my family members had suffered a minor stroke while abroad, and had an ordeal trying to get back home in order to seek treatment in the UK. While they’re now back home and beginning to recover, I can’t help but think about what may happen if the situation had been worse. I’ve had conversations about death and how we perceive death as a society before, particularly in my conversation with Laura Samson, which you can watch in full below: [Overcoming Life's Traumas with Laura SamsonThis podcast was originally published for Over To The Youth on 18th November 2023\. It is re-uploaded here for your viewing pleasure.![](https://cdn.mymidnight.blog/a14ac55a4f27472c5d894ec1c3c743d2/substack-post-media-s3-amazonaws-com/public/images/c307d39e-3048-4ec9-b511-12a1a31ba9aa_800x800.png)Tom ShawTom Shaw![](https://cdn.mymidnight.blog/a14ac55a4f27472c5d894ec1c3c743d2/substack-post-media-s3-amazonaws-com/public/images/2e1d5888-8292-485d-a285-1ead8010651b_1280x720.png)](https://www.tom-shaw.uk/from-the-archive-overcoming-lifes/) I suspect our relationship with the idea of death in Western society is not a healthy one - only exacerbated by some of the events of the past few years. It seems as though many reach their deathbeds full only of regrets and wishes of the things they had done in their lives. It is anything but the “meeting death with grace” that comes to mind, for me, in the likes of the Tale of Three Brothers parable in Harry Potter. In this tale, the first two brothers, who wish for gifts which aim to subvert or avoid death, in the Elder Wand and the Resurrection Stone, operate from a place of fear, and ultimately succumb to death in unfavourable and unhappy circumstances. The third brother, meanwhile, seems to consider the idea of his mortality very seriously, and wishes instead for a cloak of invisibility that will allow him to avoid death for as long as he’s wearing it. He does not seem intent on subverting death, but with the knowledge that death must come to him eventually, he makes the fullest of his life, eventually gifting the cloak to his son, and coming to greet Death with grace and contempt, or, as the parable goes - “as an old friend”. ![](https://cdn.mymidnight.blog/a14ac55a4f27472c5d894ec1c3c743d2/substack-post-media-s3-amazonaws-com/public/images/f2aada45-2582-4ecd-96a5-3cacb3e9588d_1280x720.jpg) A scene from the film rendition of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows, depicting the passing of the Invisibility Cloak from the third brother to his son, with Death ready to greet the brother. It’s not all been so morbid this week, as you’ll see later on in the newsletter with some of the things that I can bring to you this week. But we’ll get the last little bit of death-talk out of the way first with something… # From Poets Past I must admit that, until this week, I’d never read anything by the well-respected Robert Bly. However, thanks to the efforts of [Poetic Outlaws](https://open.substack.com/users/84743291) here on Substack, I had Bly’s poem, “Snowbanks North of the House” reach me this week. I’ve read a few poems this week all on the subject of death, and I’ve exchanged in [conversation with other Substack poets about death](https://open.substack.com/pub/ayeshaadeel2709/p/to-death?r=39lp9x&utm%5Fcampaign=comment-list-share-cta&utm%5Fmedium=web&comments=true&commentId=53959729) this week too. But, something about this piece from Bly struck me so deeply that I felt compelled to share it with you all here. Sharing Bly’s work - a man noted for his work on the loss of elder guidance for the current generation of men - also feels fitting given the conversation I recorded this week (more on that later). Go read the piece on [Poetic Outlaws](https://open.substack.com/users/84743291) Substack by clicking the link below: [Snowbanks North of the HouseThose great sweeps of snow that stop suddenly six feet from the house... Thoughts that go so far. The boy gets out of high school and reads no more books; the son stops calling home. The mother puts down her rolling pin and makes no more bread. And the wife looks at her husband one night at a party and loves him no mor…![](https://cdn.mymidnight.blog/a14ac55a4f27472c5d894ec1c3c743d2/substack-post-media-s3-amazonaws-com/public/images/cb3a038d-50f2-4b12-9331-7342bd88eac2_800x800.png)Poetic Outlaws ](https://poeticoutlaws.substack.com/p/snowbanks-north-of-the-house) # From Poets Present And now, to change tack: a love poem. Saying this week’s poem is from a Substack writer is perhaps not the right way to begin as, while it’s a factually true statement, [Margaret Atwood](https://open.substack.com/users/1591662) has quite rightly earned praise and recognition as a powerful writer long before ever gracing us with her presence here. [See Margaret Atwood's Work on Substack](https://substack.com/@margaretatwood?ref=tom-shaw.uk) There’s one poem in particular of hers that I’ve wanted to share with you all for a little while now, and this week seemed like the perfect time to do just that. I find her love poem, “Is/Not”, resonating with me on numerous levels and being stacked with some excellent ideas and imagery. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do! --- Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedLove is not a profession genteel or otherwise sex is not dentistry the slick filling of aches and cavities you are not my doctor you are not my cure, nobody has that power, you are merely a fellow/traveller Give up this medical concern, buttoned, attentive, permit yourself anger and permit me mine which needs neither your approval nor your surprise which does not need to be made legal which is not against a disease but against you, which does not need to be understood or washed or cauterized, which needs instead to be said and said. Permit me the present tense. ###### Is/Not - by Margaret Atwood --- # From Me ## New Poems A smaller one this week from me, but no less important. This piece arose as a result of one of the sessions I recently undertook with the guest of this week’s conversation. In the process of doing some shadow work (which Nika of [Vibehood](https://open.substack.com/users/129080168) [may agree is vital](https://www.tom-shaw.uk/physical-and-digital-connections/)!), I came to know some of the personas that I operate through and worked to give them their own identities and traits. “My Marionette” details one of those personas. Check the piece out for yourself below for more: [My MarionetteThis poem is currently available in early access as a thank-you to my Tribe members (paid subscribers). If you’d like to access this poem early, as well as gaining a load of other great goodies, consider becoming a Tribe member today, or![](https://cdn.mymidnight.blog/a14ac55a4f27472c5d894ec1c3c743d2/substack-post-media-s3-amazonaws-com/public/images/c307d39e-3048-4ec9-b511-12a1a31ba9aa_800x800.png)Tom ShawTom Shaw![](https://cdn.mymidnight.blog/a14ac55a4f27472c5d894ec1c3c743d2/substack-post-media-s3-amazonaws-com/public/images/b16c74b6-5040-433b-9272-bc4692378657_800x512.jpg)](https://www.tom-shaw.uk/my-marionette/) ## New Conversation I was intending to be in South Wales as this newsletter comes out, working on a project with David Cordes. As life happens, we’ve had to push the dates back a bit. However, I did instead get to recorded a conversation with him online at the beginning of the week. It’s a really great conversation from a man who, just like Robert Bly, has understood the impact that not having elders available to guide boys in effectively becoming men. Because we ran well over the time I normally allot for my interviews, I’ve increased the proportion of the interview available for free to a meaty 30 minutes, which gives plenty of good insights into David’s work and approach to the world. Check it out below: [Authentic Expression with David CordesIn this conversation, I am joined by my good friend and mentor David Cordes. David has an extensive background of working with charities, including founding Boys To Men Canada as a mentoring program …![](https://cdn.mymidnight.blog/a14ac55a4f27472c5d894ec1c3c743d2/substack-post-media-s3-amazonaws-com/public/images/c307d39e-3048-4ec9-b511-12a1a31ba9aa_800x800.png)Tom ShawTom Shaw![](https://substack-video.s3.amazonaws.com/video_upload/post/143596008/dc980091-890a-43e5-be6a-4b57af3639d0/transcoded-467132.png)](https://www.tom-shaw.uk/authentic-expression-with-david-cordes/) # And Finally Thank you for continuing to follow my progress. If you enjoy my works, consider checking out my poetry book, “Born Anew”, which you can find out more about below: [Born Anew“Born Anew” is a collection of over 20 poems reflective of my inner and outer journey of the past few years. Some poems are more light-hearted and optimistic. Some explore the bleakness of realising …![](https://cdn.mymidnight.blog/a14ac55a4f27472c5d894ec1c3c743d2/substack-post-media-s3-amazonaws-com/public/images/c307d39e-3048-4ec9-b511-12a1a31ba9aa_800x800.png)Tom ShawTom Shaw![](https://cdn.mymidnight.blog/a14ac55a4f27472c5d894ec1c3c743d2/substack-post-media-s3-amazonaws-com/public/images/e12d6b7c-f625-4011-a41a-4d4f70f87819_4032x3024.jpg)](https://tomshawwritings.substack.com/p/born-anew) It's incredibly heartwarming to know you are here and believe in the work I'm doing, and I can't wait to be able to share more with you and the rest of the world soon. With gratitude, Tom [Subscribe now](#/portal/signup) [Leave a comment](#ghost-comments-root)